Not Myself

I don't feel like myself anymore. I reckon I am trying to forget who I used to be. I mean if you do know me really well, I suppose you know there are some beliefs that I hold firmly in life. Time flies, and as I am getting older and older, those beliefs seem to be false in some sense.

I am really not liking myself right now. But I don't feel like going back to the past.

Feel like I've given up.

Apologise

Sorry guys...

I have too much to tell, but no time to share it here.

Perhaps silent is the best way to keep distance between you and me.

XOXO

I Know You Miss Her

I bought babe the dress from the central market in Sa Pa, Vietnam. It just cost about RM9 if not mistaken.

Talking to myself

I stare at the screen for a very long time before I started to do my typing. Such a hectic life best to describe my current life. Although I need not rushing for dissertation, need not go to work like everyone else, I feel like living in a vacuum somehow... and that's saddened me indeed. I never tend to be someone like this, living in my own world, keep pushing people away, keep doing the things I like and ignoring those affections that gradually fade away... sigh

Going to depart to Bangkok tomorrow morning. I am in the great hope that this getaway might be the better solution to refresh my tangled mind. Hoping that I may get a life afresh without looking back to the past that keep haunting me days and nights. Hoping that I may somehow gain something great, improving the inner self and more perceive of the future path of mine. It's terrifying indeed when dealing with the incertain future. I admit that I am dreamer most of the time, but I mixed it up with the reality and make it impossible for me to attain something great in life. Maybe I meant to screw it up sometimes... maybe we meant to fall back sometimes, to look at what we'd missing in the very first place.

I tried not to show the flood of emotions you had caused within me as we met that day. I tried not to surrender in your embrace once again. But again and again, I should never trust my heart any longer. Perhaps I couldn't get rid of your seductive smile. It drew me back to the good old days that we used to have, that we used to share every single little thing in life. I've been caught in the middle and I don't know how to walk away from you. I guess the biggest problem between us is gonna remain the same to death. I was unable to answer you... although you never phrase it as a question. It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside. Like how we get to know each other, how we get along, how we picture each other in our own perception. I wonder how you characterise me in your eyes, I wonder many things when it comes about you and me...

-G-E-E-K-

I went to Borders just now and spent RM160 on 5 books. Then went to Popular bookstore to renew my member card and found that the vampire stories got the new collection... then... you may spell my name loudly... I AM A GEEK!!! :)

真挚的笑容

你说，别对你太认真。
我说，再也不会了，是真的。我不会对那些对我不真心的人那么的认真。
问你，会失落吗。
你回答说，只要你懂我之前的真心，就好。

我看开的，只不过是不再把你捆绑在我身边，不再强求天长地久。
我在乎的，是彼此还能见到对方的笑容，真挚的笑容。
也不想要留下彼此伤害的痛苦。
像现在，就好。

Hello

Hello people~ here I am after disappear for almost 3 weeks long. Just get into car accident on Sunday on my way back to Penang with my sis, mum and babe. Well, luckily that we're still alive and no one get hurt. Just pity the poor car that get into workshop after suffering the major part of its that needed to be fix. Mami asked me to delete those photo that I'd upload in facebook and I did so... Kinda lazy to share it here...so sorry guys...:)

Guess I shall update some interesting stuff... So I ponder so hard and found that my life was way too ordinary to draw it perfect. Anyway, I finished the vampire novels already. I knew I actually should move on to start the dissertation... just that the reason that hold me back is obviously my laziness which keep dragging me to somewhere else or slacking around and doing nothing. *wink*

One more week then I shall depart to KL, Bangkok, KL, Vietnam and Cambodia~ longing for the countless reunion in KL :) date me if you tend to meet me. I'll be there from 31st Oct to 3rd Nov. See ya around~

Vampire Geeks

Okay...this is the book that I bought last month at Popular bookstore. And it made me fall into vampire stories eventually. Thus, I was searching for the series at Borders few days back but I didn't get it there. I got the chance went to Popular during my break time this evening. I guess you guys know how the story goes... I bought the whole collection as the picture shown...

Well...Smile:)

Nonsense

I got nothing to do during my rest time while I was working. Thus, I went Borders to look around. As the consequences... I grabbed quickly Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird when my first glance fall on her. Then I was searching for my vampire novels but none was there. I walked myself to the promotion area and Anne Frank photo caught my attention. I knew I am gonna be broke at the very moment. It was the other side of the story from Miep, the person who helped the frank family to hide during the war and Anne mentioned her name a lot in her diaries. Obviously, it gonna be included into my list. Hence, I just pick another book the Immortal Words from the promotion area just to get the 20% discount. Sounds greedy when I recall it right now. Here they are...lying on my bed^^

Another short story I would like to tell. I feel like this guy is watching me everyday while I am working... You don't believe? See?! I got the proof!!! :p Ciao~

Blessed

Just finished the Estee Lauder promotion at Gurney and going to off one day then started another promotion at Queensbay on Tuesday til end of month. Feel glad that I met many nice person such as Janny the retail manager, Susan my promotion partner, Adrian and Eddie the make up artists from KL, Cally, Grace, Sharon, Eunice and of course Desmond the photographer and those people that bump into my life... I couldn't control my curiousity to get to know them bit by bit and share the laughters in every single little thing. I can assure you that I love every single moment shared and thank God for sending those kindhearted person into my life... I am blessed I know... *wink*

Emotional

I thought that I would be more relaxing after the proposal presentation. Yet I can only felt the disappointment deep inside my heart. I feel like quitting sometimes. Find no reason why should I continue to move on... Feel like a failure most of the time ever since I started the postgraduate study. Am I the only one that having this kind of feeling or there is someone out there that actually having the same thought as mine? I wish I could find someone to talk to... someone that might understand me I wish. Sigh... but I guess I used to introvert my feelings and that makes me feel uncomfortable when face up with others.

I've been getting very emotional lately due to the conversation with someone that I care for... Sigh... But I was trying hard not to let the person disrupt the peace that I finally have after a very long time ever since we fallen apart. People do change, but what I feel about you remained the same. Indeed, I don't know why you wanna hurt me by saying those words. And I finally noticed how you feel about me after all these years. Thank for letting me realise that I should have quitted you long time ago. Seriously, I don't need someone like you to complete my life. And I don't think that I demand too much from you. It makes me wonder why you're not changing at all after all these years. I admitted that I am pretty stubborn until now. But I really can't stand the way you handled our relationship and claimed to have love me so much. I am old enough to be deceived by sweet talk...

sigh...emo emo...I gotta stop.

Officially Brain Dead

I am back again~~~!!!

Just finished the proposal presentation and extremely exhausted don't know why...:(

Can't think of anything right now... Framing, political economy, primary and secondary definers all tangled up my pure mind... Grrhhh...Goffman, Entman, Stuart Hall and those scholars' name keep running through my mind... HELP!!!

I need to REST!

Terribly Busy

Hello~ I am back!!! Just get the proposal done but I think sure got many changes to make after meet Prof tomorrow. So at the moment I just want to relax myself without being puzzled because of those journals and theories.

Well, Estee Lauder promotion is back and I got the job offers from 14th-20th at Gurney and 22th-29th at Queensbay Mall. Thank God I can save more money for my backpacking plan in November. Somehow, it turns me into a very difficult position where I need to do my proposal presentation on coming Tuesday, Sept 8, 2009. Then I would back hometown few days, come back Penang and started to work til end of month. Then I got a Bangkok trip in end of October (Although Piak and Siang feel like cancel it due to H1N1, I only will make the final decision in Oct), then November I would backpacking wih Eguan til 19th. Everything seem very pack but the most scary part is December would be my viva for dissertation. *sigh* So if u do noticed, I only got one month to do my dissertation and it is definitely impossible for me!!! I have not enough faith in myself right now...gonna screw up the whole dissertation...:(

Although I'm terribly busy. the book that I currently read is The Diary of A Young Girl from Anne Frank. And I bought two books from Popular bookstore last month. Forgot to share it here. Now you may have a look:)

Well, will be back very soon...ciao~

Homesick

Close your eyes, make a wish...

And I will be there :)

御宅族

It'd been four continuous days I never step out my house... believe it or not... Guess if I need not to return the robe for Denise, then perhaps I won't move my ass to the campus later or maybe tomorrow. It keeps raining here in Penang. Spoilt my mood and made me sleepy all day long...(Excuses, but it's true :p)

If you see my post entry within this month then you would realise how lazy I am... Pigging all day long on my bed... Finally get time to watch Heroes season 3 that I'd been long for. So I stayed up whole night to finish it then only I carried myself to bed.

Ohh..forgot to tell. I got my Nikon D90 already. :) I am officially broke now. I know I am a big spender but Den, you better believe it...

Ciao~ (As you know, I feel like sleeping, again...)

燃烧 by 孙楠

当爱 在心中 燃烧

年龄又怎么会有距离

The best part of the week

Well, recently I was busy for some assignments for my dear purple light that far away in UK. Since it may earn some pocket money for both of us, so we just drag ourself into the business. The only problem that she always get mad of me is generally because I always get it done in last minute, and I couldn't make it through this morning... Well, well...I hate deadline. It drives me nervous and panic most of the time.

Below is the email that I sent her this moning and her reply... I know it is stupid. But it made me non-stop laughing each time when I read it. Hoping that it might light up your day somehow =)

From: jasmine_sau@hotmail.com
To: haifenglove@hotmail.com
Subject: help!!!Date: Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:40:47 +0800

Dear Purple,

As u know that my laziness drives me crazy to9. I only manage to get the survey done by now. Anyhow, there are still some Qs that I did not finish. You may check it n help me to finish it as well. My pure mind is wandering and im totally blank...LOL

Before I coninue to the interview part, I guess I shall get a nap cos my eyelids are heavy and it drag me to bed...;p

by the time the dawn is calling, I guess u shall kill me instead... but I know u couldn't make it as we are far away from each other. So either of us commit suside long before we meet each other. Or we shall wait til the day we meet and kill one another...CIAO~

Love from SonaK


From: Haifenglove Tan (haifenglove@hotmail.com)
Sent: Sunday, 16 Aug, 2009 7: 28 AM
To: jasmine_sau@hotmail.com

KNN U!!!!
I told the person I gonna send her the interview part by TOMOLO.
死都要给我死出来！！！！不然我自杀！！！！
而且，我觉得survey他也有很多东西要改，因为没做得很好。

p/s 1:刚才工作左眼一直跳，就知道有不好的事情，也大概知道你会做不完！！

p/s 2:明天我会工作一整天，应该都不会在家。有什么事给我发简讯！
+4407920511xxx （我不想看到你的简讯！不要有事！！）

但是，明天你一定要做好！
不然，双亡！

陈诗韵 上。

Memories

I thought that I wouldn't update anything about my recent life because it is so bored except that I spent a lot of money due to the PC fair and mega sales... I get a new HP printer, just to make my eyes more comfort without getting pain staring at the screen for those journals that I never have enough time to get it done. Then by next week I shall get my Nikon D90 that cost me RM4050 in total. And last but no least, I spent a lot during the mega sales, what excited me the most was I grabbed myself 4 pairs of converse within 2 months. And the God damn red color finally added into the list.*wink* Since then I got 10 pairs of converse collection and I promise that It would getting more and more in the coming days:)

I finally bought The Diary of A Young Girl from MPH bookstore. I am hardly got time for reading these few weeks, I mean those except journals that I'd been forced to read.

Walked into Body Shop to buy my favourite Satsuma shower gel. And I saw the Jasmin fragrance that I used to smell when I met you. I sprayed it on my sleeve, then I recalled the day in Gurney Starbucks, just you and me...and the memories that we left for each other. I can't help myself most of the time. It keeps rewinding every single thing between us. I couldn't forget every single word that you used to say, and I couldn't forget how your eyes fell on me... as it tempted me until now.

Thank for my guardian angel... I never expect that you would text me in this early morning. And I reali grateful that you care about me still. Can you imagine how vulnerable I am ? I do know that I love to make assumptions and get to the final decision. But as I said, I wanna picture my future with someone for life, not just a temporary relationship. It tired me out sometimes...

My dearest friend, sinking herself into a complicated relationship recently. And I can feel that she never tend to walk out of it in this very moment. I wish she knows what's better for her in future. I wish she mulls over every words that I'd been said to her...

The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore by James Morrison

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Chorus
Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, Pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

(Chorus)

Ooh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why.
III dont know why...... whyyyyyyyy!

(Chorus)

Mind-wandering

I can't sleep. Perhaps the late night mocha did wake me up. Thus I light up a cig, hoping that I might be fall in sleep in a while. But then it remains the same. I am lying on the bed. My mind wanders, and I am lost, I guess.

It'd been end of month. And I've been a mess since I started this very new semester. I've been so busy searching for my supervisor, part-time job, journals reading, searching for new housemate and bla bla bla. Hell ya, my daily schedule in August already fully occupied. So I don't think that I would have time to take a break. I do not have time. And I shouldn't have the excuses to rest my mind...

Talked to Dr Mus today and he can't be my supervisor for the dissertation. Perhaps I did a very lousy proposal, or maybe he is busy since he don't even have time to check his inbox for almost two weeks after I sent him my proposal. Just when I wanna turn to Prof Zaharom, I received his email again. And he said he talked to Pn Wang and she would be interested to be my supervisor... So I was puzzled. I am so thankful to Dr Mus for recommended me even that he couldn't guide me for the dissertation. After a very long and thoughtful consideration, I text Prof Zaharom and he replied me 'yes' for an answer within a minute. Felt grateful for having those kind-hearted lecturers around. Yet I can feel that my nightmare is coming ahead...

It is just part of my life that keep haunting me day by day. I wish I could attain something great in future. Although it might be hard sometimes. I shall not blaming myself for the path that'd been chosen.

For those who are concerned about me, thanks for your love. I am doing great...hopefully:)

Yasmin Ahmad

I guess those that love her movies and Ads definitely would be depressing after knowing that she passed away last night.

To be frank, I only get to know her since the day I became a Communication undergraduate in USM. Although I watched her Ads for Petronas like thousand times before, but I never expect who is the director that successfully made me misty-eyed each time I watch those TV commercials. And being a communication undergrad really brought me into her world, her thoughts and mind that we both know those inequalities that actually happen in our society but no one would dare to question in public.

I extend my heartfelt condolences to her family.

R.I.P.

Me@Converse

Six and left one at hometown.

Gotta grab the God damn RED colour very soon.

ILL-TiMeD

First, I got late payment penalty RM200 for the semester fees.

Second, I went to the library, with the purpose to apply for library locker. Then I just realised that it'd been closed few days back. *SIGH*

What a life... Why everything seem ill-timed for me? Why the whole world suddenly turning upside-down around me? Why I got this kind of feeling that I just couldn't fit in anymore...

I felt like I've been languishing for weeks since the day my heart torn into pieces...

Insomnia

I guess that I just couldn't get rid of you.

-Defeated-

Dear Sis

I do not wish you to walk out of my life anymore.

Simply because that

I love you, like I always do.

Ultraviolet Catastrophe by The Drop

I want this album badly.

-Desire-

Goodbye June2009

Long Lost Passport

Those that did updating my current occurrence definitely knew that I was searching for my passport since I moved to the new roof in May. I had been searching around for almost two months long yet I couldn't catch it anywhere around my new house and back to my hometown. I even came to the final decision to make a police report to apply for a new passport. Simply because I don't want to screw up my travel plans end of the year to Bangkok, Vietnam and Cambodia. I am longing for a vacation and extremely excited about the backpacking around Vietnam and Cambodia with Yee Guan in November.

Guess it is my lucky day tonight. I just having a really bad and completely sleepless night. Thus, I tried to search around in bedroom, having a little hope that I might catch it somewhere in the end of the day. Thank God that I finally found it in a box together with my notes and journals... *Wink*

Breathing

Sometimes I would just lay beside you and watch you sleep.
Then I would check to see if you are still breathing.

And I am doing this every now and then...

Purple Witch

You lend me shoulders when I was depressed last time.
And I miss you so so much that I wish you would be here this time while I am losing the tracks.

Maybe I am just a little down.
Maybe I just needed someone to talk to.

Guess I depended on you, too much.

Abnormal

I am trying hard not to fall into pieces.

Wondering why you could just acting like this.

You make it seems so easy and normal continue to move on.
And I am the one that so abnormal after all.

I think I am. Yes I am...

Same Mistake by James Blunt

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.

Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet.

Remember rights that I did wrong, so here I go.

Hello, hello. There is no place I cannot go.

My mind is muddy but my heart is heavy. Does it show?

I lose the track that loses me, so here I go.

And so I sent some men to fight, and one came back at dead of night.

Said he'd seen my enemy. Said he looked just like me,

So I set out to cut myself and here I go.

I'm not calling for a second chance,

I'm screaming at the top of my voice.

Give me reason but don't give me choice.

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.

And maybe someday we will meet, and maybe talk and not just speak.

Don't buy the promises 'cause, there are no promises I keep.

And my reflection troubles me, so here I go.

I'm not calling for a second chance,

I'm screaming at the top of my voice.

Give me reason but don't give me choice.

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake,

I'm not calling for a second chance,

I'm screaming at the top of my voice.

Give me reason but don't give me choice.

'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.

Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep.

Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars.

Look at the stars fall down.

And wonder where did I go wrong.

Whisky

Den, sorry I drank it without you.
I guess I shall not quit to drink.

I miss how it smells when it gets into my throat.
I miss how it makes me buzz and lessen the pain deep inside my heart.
And I miss you, too.

Childhood by Michael Jackson

Written and Composed by Michael Jackson
Produced by Michael Jackson

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for the world that I come from
'Cause I've been looking around
In the lost and found of my heart...
No one understands me
They view it as such strange eccentricities...
'Cause I keep kidding around
Like a child, but pardon me...

People say I'm not okay
'Cause I love such elementary things...
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood
I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,
Of conquest and kings on the throne...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me,
Look within your heart then ask,
Have you seen my Childhood?

People say I'm strange that way
'Cause I love such elementary things,
It's been my fate to compensate,
for the Childhood (Childhood) I've never known...

Have you seen my Childhood?
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth
Like fantastical stories to share
But the dreams I would dare, watch me fly...

Before you judge me, try hard to love me.
The painful youth I've had

Have you seen my Childhood....

*R.I.P. MJ

Renouncement

I promise myself, that I would not fall into this kinda condition anymore.

I would not repeat those words that I used to tell you, those things that I used to share with you. You would be rested under my skin for just a short period of time.

And I shall let you go, eventually.

-Learning to forget-

Deary

If anyone ever break your heart, then I would take you with me.
And I forbid them to get in touch with you.

You do not deserve to be treated in this way.

Broken Trust

I trusted you for so damn long and just found that you've been lied to my face! How dare you do this to me?

I thought that you know what is good for you and you are not gonna ruin your own life. But now what I noticed is those I dislike the most. How could you let me down after I put all my trust in you?

I was asking you that night the question that I hesitated for so long, simply because I don't want to misunderstand and I don't feel like trusting what they said about you. You gave me the answer that I ever hope for and I wanted to stand my ground firmly, believe in everything that you told me.

But now, I feel like an idiot. I don't even know how to look at you anymore.

My Precious Moments

Nothing gonna bring us down, as long as we believe in each other, as long as you always stand by my side.

Let's us have faith...

My Missing Brother

I think this is the 2nd time I blog about him.
He rarely calls, rarely texts me...

But when things with regards to his PS3, PSP, his dream lappie Sony Vaio, new SE mobile phone, when he wanna ask my opinion to get a maxis or celcom broadband, or maybe P1 Wimax and so forth, then he probably would text me, like just now. He was trying to tell me that he finally subcribe to P1 Wimax RM99 per month and his PS3 working really fine with it. So he wonders whether he should buy the Vaio lappie right now...

I never meet him for ages, not even during CNY.
I think he is trying to runaway from me, to get a new SE phone or maybe a new Vaio lappie...

I need a new SE phone I think, since my current phone started having some problems. So I am wishing my brother change his phone rather than get a lappie.

*fingers crossing*

Waiting

You were asking me to wait for a while.

So I've been wait, and waited for quite a while. And I guess I am waiting still at the moment. I am wondering whether I shall watch a movie while waiting for you. Of course it has to be my all-time favourite...

Before I get to a decision, I received your text. Perhaps I don't have time for the movie anymore. Since I no longer waiting... (",)

Fulled

After the barbeque that we were having at Kelly's house last night
After accompanied by Chia Shin to the Sushi King that I long for at Queensbay just now

I think my stomach trying to tell me that

She's extremely being FULLED

Oh God
Now I need to kick my ass and get the diet plan started...

Vanished

Why don't you hate me?
For any reason that I make u mad...

Then certainly I would hating myself for doing so.
And I would walk out of it, eventually.

Like vanished on the earth in a sudden.
Like I never existed in your world.

Unspeakable

My landlord called and asked me to stay until end of July then she gonna start renovation to the unit. So I shall move out in August by all means. *sigh* Have to search for a new room and gonna move all my stuff to a new house. Kinda tiring since I got lotsa collections...

I'd been rushing back hometown and Penang several times within past few weeks. For God sake I did nothing for my proposal still. I do not wish to stay longer at Penang sometimes. It makes me sick all the time when I recalled those people that I ever met, those that indeed hurting me. So I promised that I would fly away one day, far away from here...

I do know that we couldn't have real serious relationship. But I was mad if you never been serious with me after what you've been done to both of us.

Feel like I couldn't uttered a single word, right now.

I am sorry.

Piece of You

GoodbYe@Converse

Before you cut me into pieces

I decided to walk out of your life...

FCUK

I am good as long as you are by my side.

Heavy

I wish I could take all the trifles to heart. But I am afraid that it might be too heavy for me to move on, if you ever walk out of my life...

-Perturbed-

Love you to bits and pieces

Updated

I finally ended the Estee Lauder promotion and back to my lovely hometown taking care of babe. And I just realised that I slimmed down to 52kg due to the part-time job. Anyway, it doesn't mean that I already back to the normal weight... I know Sis would still nagging about it since I gained a lot of weight in a short span of time two years back.

Babe doesn't like me I guess. Sometimes she acts like she loves me the most, but sometimes she treats me like she hates me the most on the earth. So I was wondering how she viewed me in her little brown eyes, and which episode that she might recalled about me when she grown up... I guess it should be the worse part of me that keep haunting her day by day. Well...at last she fallen into slumber right beside my bed after the struggled to runaway from me. I love her, she should have understand...

I lost my passport after moving to the new roof. I'd been searching around the new room and back to my hometown but couldn't catch it still... Hopefully it wouldn't screw up all my plans end of the year.

Don't know what I am heading to... feels like I am not going anywhere in the end of the day... *sighing*

Estee Lauder Model Search 2009

I am currently working for Estee Lauder Model Search at Queensbay Mall, Penang from 25th until 31st May.

Wondering it is going to be the last part time job that I ever get before I am graduate...

Anyway, feel free to pay me a visit here^^

Taking chances by Celine Dion

Don't know much about your life.
Don't know much about your world, but
Don't want to be alone tonight,
On this planet they call earth.

You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,

But what do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

I just want to start again,
And maybe you could show me how to try,
And maybe you could take me in,
Somewhere underneath your skin?

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?

Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

And I had my heart beaten down,
But I always come back for more, yeah.
There's nothing like love to pull you up,
When you're laying down on the floor there.
So talk to me, talk to me,
Like lovers do.
Yeah walk with me, walk with me,
Like lovers do,
Like lovers do.

What do you say to taking chances,
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,
What do you say,
What do you say?

Don't know much about your life
And I don't know much about your world

Team Hoyt, Rick and Dick

Watch this and this, I was totally mess up after watch the videos and read the story about the pair of father and son.

I salute the father for everything he did for his son and may God bless them always.

Defeated

It is raining out here, in a sudden. I was like spending my whole world upside down in the past few months. Totally have no idea of what I was actually dealing with studies and the passion of live... Even now that I am feeling blue, still.

I have to make sure that I am going to pass the dissertation within 6 months once I registered in the coming July. And I am freaking scared about it since I don't even know what am I supposed to do for the research. That is the weakness part of me that keep holding me backwards and I just couldn't help but falling gradually day by day.

I am not deserved to be here.

I hate to think about it, but I just couldn't quit to think of it, once and once again.

He's Just Not That Into You

I wiped my eyes on the sleeve when there's a scene where Ben Affleck appears in Jennifer Aniston's kitchen helping her while she's in frustration. Another one is when she found the ring from his pant pocket. And I just couldn't stop the tears flowed down my cheeks... I am envy I guess, obviously...

To be frank, this movie is not gonna be my favourite of all time. It did touched me, though.

I am Boring

May 3rd, 2009

It was my last day for two weeks job

So I indulged myself into Starbucks hot mocha

P/S: Thanks Astina for the staff price discount and save me few bucks for bill.

Kiddo & Odd LadY

I told you that I feel like smoking few days back. Vaguely I recalled those words that you said to me before, asking me not to smoke anymore and you are willing to let me bite whenever I wanted to light up a cig. You were not around, and I guess I shall give myself an excuse to make thing real. After few minutes, I leaned back slightly in the chair, and I did nothing. It was crazy, I knew.

You were asking when you started to become such an important person in my life. I said Sometimes, perhaps. You are like an adult keep warning me to watch out every single step of mine. You were asking me not to get late bath every single night, not to speed on bike, asking me to move my butt and get some exercise, to get some social life...and bla bla bla...

I suddenly rely on you a little more, and more. Hesitantly asking you to fetch me home once a while, started to take into account of your words and promises. Like you offered to fetch me home if I have to take public transport, to jog with me, to watch ghost movie, to buy me the pancake that I once craving for, pillow talk and bla bla bla... Frustrated, I knew I am going loco.

I feel like an odd lady in front of you. It is weird. There is the word that hung between us. But I feel safe to share with you. I always do.

Thanks for walk into my life =)

HappY Mother's DaY

Wanted!!! Dead or Alive!!!

Name: Liew Cheng Yan

Address: Somewhere in KL

Nationality: Malaysian

Profession: She claimed to be a freelance translator

Brief of case: Leaving Penang Island

If found or seen may please intimate to Jasmine Sau Ai Na or leave a message here.

My Sweet Song by Toby Lightman

My sweet song

It's been a long time

What'd you come around here for

Cause that old love is gone

And I've since carried on

Thought I was rid of you for sure

Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so

sweet no more

Please don't sing to me

Cause it hurts me to hear the melody that was

Good to me before

Oh my sweet song, you don't sound so

sweet no more

Oh you said love was forever and you told me

love would never

Break my heart, and I believed you as I fell

That's all over, let it go,

You're just a song I used to know

And your fantasy, it don't work for me

Go and pick on someone else

My sweet song

Guess I'm stuck with you

And someday, I'll find the love I'm looking for

Then my sweet, sweet song won't sound so

sad no more

My sweet, sweet song, I'll guess I'll always be yours

Fallen Sick

Fever

Sore throat

Cough

Flu

I am SICK!!!

RealiZeD

If you just realized what I just realized

then we'd be perfect for each other

then we'd never find another

Just realized what I just realized

we'd never have to wonder if

we missed out on each other now

Realized lyric by Colbie Caillat

Once In My LifeTiMe With You

Roof Searching

I am moving back to Hamna (Desa Permai Indah) and still indulging in the lovely surrounding as I missed so much. The owner came yesterday and told me that she intend to sell the unit that I am renting right now. And if she managed to get a buyer and she would let me know one month advanced. For the sakes of our own good, we do not sign any contract and I need not to pay her the one month deposit. Hell ya, means that I am going to be homeless in any unexpected day ahead...

So I was thinking to move out in July or August since my housemate which stay in small room said that he actually applied for hostel and waiting for confirmation. Another two guys in medium room just staying until mid of July for internship.

I found my room is too big and makes me feel empty. I was thinking to ask Den come back and stay with me. But then I couldn't stand if she makes the room looks messy... I was thinking to ask Shin to stay with me. But then I couldn't take the risk to scold her everyday. So I was thinking... Who else that I have? What else that I could do?

Sigh... Then I back to hometown and found that there's finally got 3G at my home. As a result, my maxis broadband works really well and I am posting this to show that it works! Here came the problem, I am thinking to move back hometown and finished my dissertation. Or else I should get hostel as well in next semester... Hmmm...then I can get back Penang whenever I got part-time job or the time when I need to immerse into library.

So...which is better?

Yellow@Tired

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And everything you do,

Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along

I wrote a song for you

And all the things you do

And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn

Oh all the things I've done

And it was all yellow

Your skin

Oh yeah your skin and bones

Turn into something beautiful

D'you know you know I love you so

You know I love you so

I swam across

I jumped across for you

Oh all the things you do

Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line

I drew a line for you

Oh what a thing to do

And it was all yellow

Your skin

Oh yeah your skin and bones

Turn into something beautiful

D'you know for you i bleed myself dry

For you i bleed myself dry

Its true look how they shine for you

look how they shine for you

look how they shine for you

look how they shine for you

look how they shine for you

look how they shine

look at the stars look how they shine for you

It keeps playing on my mind whole day long. Nothing to update actually... Tomorrow would be the last day promotion. So I may get home on Monday. Hopefully there is no more changes that come in a sudden. I am indeed tired... Ciao!

Dear =DeN=

I think you're extremely boring since you compared both our total post within this month. Somehow, I choose to empathise your feeling as I know that you miss me so much.

Seems like I should have make a clarification regarding to my sudden disappearance. I never run away from you dear. Just I was away for the minicards distribution just now. And I did think about you while I topping up the cards at g-Hotel. I miss Starbucks hot mocha, I miss Segafredo, and I do miss you, indeed.

As you know, I am still working for the Estee Lauder promotion til 3rd of May. And I have to move to the new house on 1st of May after finished work. At the same time, it is quite bothering me since the small room is yet to rent out...:(

Now we are draw =p BLEK~!

Sincere Apologise

I am such a hardhearted person I guess. If not I wouldn't treat you in this way. Perhaps you're not the only one, but many other guys that I fall into, and fell out of it all of a sudden.

I am such a jerk.

Sorry.

Part-time Job Hunter

I shall thank God for blessing me and giving me endless opportunities to make money. I got this Estee Lauder promotion from 20th April till 3rd of May, then Jess asked me to work for Estee Lauder Model search promoter from 26th-31st May. Another extra bonus is Eve just asked me whether I would like to work in June because Dior going to have a promotion at Gurney. Although it is quite far away from here, but I shall move my butt there since I keen to get the Nikon camera.

I am quite busy recently due to the part-time job and I am going to move out end of month. Well, it've been so long I never get sweat... Let just wait till I settled down myself, then I'll be back...Ciao~

You@Past

I saw you. And I guess you saw me as well.

We don't have any eye contact, didn't raise our smile to each other.

And I think both of us don't have the courage to take the very first step, just to say hello...

Unexpectedness

Just when I thought that it would be the end of the story of mine to grab a nikon D200. Fortunately, I got a call this afternoon while I was on my way home from campus. Estee Lauder promoter from Jusco, Queensbay called me to work for their promotion started from this 20th til 3rd of May. Thanks God..finally I get a job. Thanks Eve my Dior promoter to recommend me for this job. But I have to sacrifice some of my plan... I couldn't get home within this month, couldn't make the getaway with Denise at Parkroyal before she starts to work. Then I have to be well planning as I have to move out end of this month. I yet to get the new room...

Sorry Den, couldn't spent time with you. Feel like you've been leaving me for ages. Feel like we would be falling apart forever...haiz...

I always need compliments to strengthen my self-confidence, to make believe that I capable to do everything come ahead. It was indeed fed up when I got to know the coursework result for Dr Ju's paper and I have to resubmit the proposal for Dr Adnan... Suddenly I felt like I wasn't chosen to be here. Perhaps I've been all the way wrong about myself. But few days back Felicia told me that Prof Zaharom noticed my photocopy of proposal power point slides that left in the conference room before I reached for exam. And what amazed me the most was she told me that Prof saying it was good... At last I gained back some self-assured that makes me feel secure. Oh Lord...thanks for everything that you brings into my life =)

The Prince and Me

As you know, this is my favourite movie of all time. So I was boring, then I watched it again. Hence, it reduced me into tears all over again...

Why can't we just rewind?

Paolo Nutini's Rewind keep playing in my media player so I just simply wrote down the title.

I am lazy to sum up the incidents anymore. No longer in the mood to share those incidents that happened. I finished my final exam but have to resubmit my proposal since there are some corrections to make. I was in a very dejected mood after my last paper on Tuesday noon. I just get to know my overall grade for essay writting and presentation for Dr Ju's paper. And I found that most of my classmate get the higher score than me. *sigh* Although I know I shouldn't blame on others...but I just couldn't help to keep blaming myself for neglected my study due to part-time job. I should have focus on my study... but then I need to give up my goal to get a Nikon D200...It is indeed saddened me...

Incidents Summed Up, Part II

As my reading emotion has been blocked. I decided to continue the part II summary of the stories that I keen to tell...

Incident 5:

I uploaded the photo that we taken during the last ever class for Dr Adnan and I created the title as My Last Class for Master Study since I have finished all my coursework and need not to attend any class in future. Here comes the problem...people thought that I am going to graduate...OOuuhhh... Although it had been one year since I ever taking the master study, I yet to started my dissertation. To sum it up, I am taking the mixmode for Master of Art (Communication), means I have to go through 20 units coursework and 20 units dissertation. Next semester I shall kindly move on to the dissertation part and hopefully I would get it done less than a year...*fingers crossing*

Incident 6:

My lovely sista, always being the person that I worried that much since she ever came back in my life. No doubt that she is smart. But she is always emotional whenever deals with the one that she cares so much. *Paused* I know that she is much more better than me taking care of herself out there. Just she seldom and reluctant to share her sadness most of the time... Sis, you need not to pretend like you are doing great in front of me even that deep down I already could empathise your feelings. Sorry for giving the lecture. You are smart indeed, and perhaps you should have just be smart. Think for the best and remember not to ruin your own life..Hugz..=)

Incident 7:

My friend falling in love with a guy that she just get to know less than 7 months if not mistaken, and the guy turned out to be my old buddy that I've know for more than 7 years. I have no comment about the relationship and affection that blossoming in a sudden... Just hoping that the guy is truly in love with my friend and no longer cling to his past. I am giving my best wishes... simply because I don't want to see my friend seeking around for a companion anymore. Well...love is always blind. People tend to be naive when they fallen into the game. And sometimes, they don't feel like walk away even that they know there's no way to go further...

It's time for me to take a break. I need to do revision for the exam tomorrow morning. Anyway, it is not the end of my stories. I would make it to the following part in the coming day...:)

Love and friendship, I've been caught in between...

Incidents Summed Up, Part I

Well well...it's been a while and I got lots to tell. As you know I am quite lazy to go for details. So here my stories started as below:

Incident 1:
I am working for the 101 Haircare roadshow for the last ever time because our sales had been so bad comparing to last year. So KL headquarter going to find some specialised agents to take over the roadshow. That means I am jobless for the next few months...*sigh* Actually this is not the story that I am intend to tell for the 1st incident. The main story is I met with Dr Mus while I was working few days back. And we're so shocked when seeing each other. Maybe he never thought that would meet a student when he shops with his wife. I used to hide myself from confronting with lecturers simply because I don't know how to answer them the reason I have to get myself a part-time job. I am chickenhearted beyond a shadow of dout when things go within me and my lecturers...especially those respectable lecturers for me. It was kind of awkward, so we just raised our reluctant smile to each other. Gosh...I still wanting Dr Mus to be the supervisor for my dissertation in the coming days. I wonder how we're going to communicate since we both are shrinking violets...

Incident 2:
My dearest Den was sinking herself few days back into some beautiful lies by a jerk that I was happening to be the person that brought in them together. Thus, I felt pissed off because that guy was trying to stimulate her imagination and Den was fallen somehow. Well, I always be the bad person trying to waken my beloved one whenever I felt that's something wrong... Thanks God you didn't mad at me and allowing me to warn that idiot. Hopefully you'll be continue the game with him as we planned. Promise me you wouldn't get yourself into this kind of illusion anymore. You are much more smarter than him dear. Enjoy your game k=)

Incident 3:

I had been cursed since the first ever working day. The little kiddo made a wish for the continuous raining days simply because he loves to watch me get sick. Since then I had been cursed and caught in the rain with my lovely bike for 3 or 4 days after work... Anyway, I already pay him back for all the suffering that he caused me since he got sick finally...lol

Incident 4:

Soo Tein asked me for outing one day when we both chatting in msn and I rejected her as I always do. I was giving the same excuses telling her that I was busy and no time for outings. She answered me back and it gave me a very long consideration after all. She was telling me not to make my life becomes so busy and I shouldn't quit outings as often as I did in the past. The sentence that she send me actually sounded as "How are you suppose to get a boyfriend if you're always busy?"...I am speechless...

Still got more than 5 stories but I am so lazy at the moment as I have to prepare for my final exam on Monday. Anyway, til the day we meet up again...I promise to make it short...err..perhaps I would make it to the following parts then...CIAO~

And..to be continue...=p

LaTe NighT@MoRninG Post

At last I done my proposal presentation for the framing theory and thank God I think I am in the safe zone. Sorry for the boring presentation as I used to be dull and lack of self-confident when confront with people. And I am such a damn presenter since I never good at explanation... Anyway, it was over and I shall enjoying tomorrow night for the makan break and listen to the last six presentations from my lovely classmate. *wink*

Just gather up my notes for final exam on Dr Juliana's paper. Feel glad that I am taking this paper together with Shina and Vita. So that we can discuss more on the exam topic and share our notes and findings. One more step to summarise it then I would probably get myself to bed.

I am going to start my two months semester break after 14th April my 2nd and the last paper. Yet I couldn't get any part time job during that period... Gosh...I normally would get my working scedule one month before that and this really freaks me out since I have to save money to get Nikon D200 and Bangkok+Vietnam+Cambodia trip end of the year. *Sigh* I wish that God would spare some mercy on me...eventhough I seldom practice my prayer at home...Oopps..sorry...Sampo popi...(quoted the famous line from class of 5A6, KH'02)^^

Wei Jay has been back from Aus for almost two weeks long but I never get chance to meet up her til now. Seems like I need to make quite a numbers of apologise... Sorry, I was busy indeed. And Den, you better spare your time for me after you settled down. Miss you and bear hug.

It is already 4 something in the morning. Well guys, good night and good morning...gotta indulge in slumberland. CIAO~

Apologise@ReborN

Sorry, I couldn't quit.

Feel like apologise for unable to keep my promise. I allow myself to light up the cig, once in a while...

-Blocked Emotion-

寂寞的眼 by周华健

这一次我又忘记了改变我自己

这一次我又轻易的相信你是唯一

一次一次聚散分离使我怀疑

世界上没有真正的爱情值得回忆

一次一次告诉自己

伤心往事不该惋惜

一次一次提醒自己

这样的爱情转眼让他过去

但是你寂寞的眼有寂寞的泪

让我忘了改变我的一切

让我在迷惑之中忘了曾经深深的叹息

但是你寂寞的眼有寂寞的泪

让我忘了改变我的一切

让我又不由自主轻易让你飞入我梦里

总在爱过後黯然的分手

让我不能不重头想过

这一次会不会错得更多

但是你寂寞的眼有寂寞的泪

让我忘了改变我的一切

让我在迷惑之中忘了曾经深深的叹息

但是你寂寞的眼有寂寞的泪

让我忘了改变我的一切

让我又不由自主轻易让你飞入我梦里

但是你寂寞的眼有寂寞的泪

让我忘了改变我的一切

让我在迷惑之中忘了曾经深深的叹息

但是你寂寞寂寞的眼寂寞的泪

让我又不由自主轻易让你飞入我梦里

但是你寂寞的眼寂寞的泪

让我在迷惑之中忘了曾经深深的叹息

寂寞寂寞的眼寂寞的泪

让我又不由自主轻易让你飞入我梦里

写给海风LOVE

看见你在ShoutBox的留言，再看看你刚走不久的足迹，我在想，你是否发生了些什么，浏览了你的部落格，发现你在那儿受了委屈，该怎么说呢……很懊恼自己，该早点上线，那样就能与你碰面聊天。我答应你，不再聊globalisation和new comm tech，我会好好地、静静地，听你爱说的话，任由你发牢骚……

谢谢你提醒了我，你已在陌生的国度里生活了十五天。瞬间脑海浮现的，是你的毕业册，我的留言……

Random PosT

Left one presentation on Monday night then two papers to sit on 13th and 14th then i'll be ended my 2nd semester for master study. It means that I already cleared my 50% cousework and shall kindly move on to the dissertation which I have no idea still. Anyway...I shouldn't have bothering about it right now.

I had been pampered myself few days back for countless movies that I've never get time to watch it. Without surprisingly, P.S. I love You totally reduced me into tears. Then I immersed into its soundtrack and what delighted me the most is I already downloaded the whole soundtracks for Ally McBeal, one of my favourite Tv series..*grin*

Well, just a random post that I feel like update in this early morning. Gotta catch a wink for 30 minutes then ready to work...CIAO~!

Miss My |i| Babe

Miss the way you tried to make me smile, the way you hugged me tight, and of course the way I love you so...:)

Perplexed

Came across a line in Jodi Picoult's Nineteen Minutes where the mother said to her daughther...

"...You have to be a certain age to earn the right to ruin your own life..."

Just doubtful whether i grounded myself at this particular age. Or perhaps i already ruined mine.

Emotional Broken Down

I just done a very lousy proposal and pass up in class. At the same time, i just realised that my presentation would be on next Monday. Unfortunately, I won't be having any chance to correct it anyway... *sigh* Hating myself most of the time for unable to try my very best to get things done. Well, my proposal themed Framing the Rally: A Comparative Study of Media Coverage for the Batu Burok Incident by Two Mainstream Newspaper and Online News. Although I already pass it up, but actually I am still stucked for the methodology to be used and data analyse process...wondering which to choose between inductive+deductive approach or discourse analysis in the content analysis. I had been trying so hard to get myself contended into this what so-called enjoyable study life...yet I found myself suffered from emotional tension everytime I cracked my head to get things done. *long sigh*

The first ever time I cried myself to bed simply because I couldn't get rid of the tension and those vulnerable feelings that occupied my head, veins or maybe my whole body. Feel like it has been living within me and suddenly I keen to walk out from all of these without turning back..yea..I mean I feel like giving up actually. *sigh* I know I shouldn't bother others regarding to my very own nonsense and emotional problems... I felt like telling Den, but she seemed like not in the mood being my listener that night. So I just got myself emotional broken down in the middle of the night...allowing my tears came out and torn me apart. It has been very emotional since then...couldn't reach sis in msn to talk to. Felt like the whole world suddenly left me behind. And i finally dialed to mum the next day... thus I got myself misty-eyed on my way walking to library that evening... Could you comprehend my feeling as well?

Alone Again, Naturally by Gilbert O'Sullivan

In a little while from now

If I’m not feeling any less sour

I promise myself to treat myself

And visit a nearby tower

And climbing to the top will throw myself off

In an effort to make it clear to who

Ever what it’s like when you’re shattered

Left standing in the lurch at a church

Where people saying: "My God, that’s tough

She's stood him up"

No point in us remaining

We may as well go home

As I did on my own

Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright and gay

Looking forward to well wouldn’t do

The role I was about to play

But as if to knock me down

Reality came around

And without so much, as a mere touch

Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt

Talk about God and His mercy

Or if He really does exist

Why did He desert me in my hour of need

I truly am indeed Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts

broken in the world that can’t be mended

Left unattended

What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally

Now looking back over the years

And whatever else that appears

I remember I cried when my father died

Never wishing to hide the tears

And at sixty-five years old

My mother, God rest her soul,

Couldn’t understand why the only man

She had ever loved had been taken

Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken

Despite encouragement from me

No words were ever spoken

And when she passed awayI cried and cried all day

Alone again, naturally

Alone again, naturally

崩溃

写了好多，删掉；
理清自己的情绪，再重新写
然后，又再次的删

眼泪掉了
不懂该对谁说
不懂谁会明白
这些日子所承受的压力

Quitted

Tried to close my eyes, make myself to bed, but I lie awake still... Frustrated, waking up and turn on my lappie. Signing into msn, check mail, browsing and browsing...and browsing again...

Just done my presentation for TV Genre Analysis this evening on TV News and Ideology, going to talk about Modernisation and Imperialism for International Communication at 3p.m. later..yea..LATER...since it is 4 something in the morning now.

Paused for so long, realised that i couldn't make up my mind. I am totally blank. And suddenly you come across my mind, random things and words between us that drive me crazy.

It couldn't be. I talk to myself. I quitted. I quitted you.

lil bit about me | Quizbox

Get this link-Quizbox and just tried it cos my energy getting super low staring at my lappie screen for power point presentation..

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The DaY She Went AwaY

Location: London

Date: 18 March 2009

Time: 10a.m.

Name: Tan See Yeen

Nickname: Purple Light/ Haifenglove

Relationship: Soulmate

P/S: I certainly would be there one day^^ All the best buddy...miss ya lots

BirthDaY GreeTinG

Happy Birthday Babe ^^

5.34-9.00

RULES:-

1. Questions with THIS or THAT, answer ONLY ONE and; no other
2. Answer ALL questions honestly.

3. Answers MUST be valid.
4. Do not answer questions with another question.

5. Pass the AWARD to TEN Bloggers from your List.

Date and Day Today: 11-3-2009 Wednesday

Time Started: 05:34 pm

Time Ended : 09:00 pm

[1] Taking it or Leaving it?
Taking it since i told Den that i would love to do so.

[2] "I am forbidden...

to lose weight, to sleep until 3pm daily, to speed on bike or motorbike, to be fulltime part-timer, to.....

[3] "I would love to have...

my beloved to be healthy, blissful always and happy ever after.

[4] Are you a Bitch?

It depends actually..but i am kinda friendly if you know me true.

[5] Are you talkative?

Definitely not. I am too lazy to open my mouth most of the time.

[6] Black or White?

Black

[7] Club or Pub/Bars?

Pub/Bars. I am not a clubber, just a heavy drinker that intend to cut it off.

[8] Desktop or Laptop?

Laptop, my Vaio lappie

[9] Did you answer all the questions like you were supposed to?

I think so.

[10] Do those who you love return their love?

Yep. But most of the time in a different way that i hope it would be actually. I won't turn to someone who doesn't love me. Just sometimes it is too late when i return their love.

[11] Do you hate someone?

Yes when i was young, then i realised that simply becase i love them so much.

[12] Do you have a car?
Nope. I am jobless still.

[13] Do you have a pet?

Nope. I wish i would have it in future.

[14] Do you know anyone who hates you?

I don't bother about it. As long as they are not in the circle of my family members or buddies.

[15] Do you like to dance?

I would love to learn.

[16] Do you like to sing?

Yes, of course.

[17] Do you love someone?
I love many people.

[18] Do you think love is fair?

No.

[19] Do you think the TEN victims whom you are going to tag will answer these questions?

I am not certain about it. Perhaps i do not know who else that browsing my blog here.

[20] Do you think these questions are personal?

Nope.

[21] Do you think those you love know that you love them?

Maybe not. I am a very conservative person, i wont simply spell out the four letter words.

[22] Ever been on a last minute vacation?

Never.

[23] Ever been told that you are sexy?

Yep. Kinda funny huh...

[24] Ever loved someone so badly it broke your heart?

Haha..that my major too, Den.

[25] Genuine or Fake?

Absolutely Genuine.

[26] Get the closest magazine, go to page 36 and write the 3rd line down.

Reader's Digest, February 2009,-...debialitating pain of migraine. Research...

[27] Hater or Lover?

Both.

[28] Have you been mentioned in anyone's BLOG before? Was it good or bad? Why?

Yep. Denise when she was missing me; Purple Light for once when she got nothing to do simply dedicated to our friendship; Lala cause she felt sad reading my blog; and someone that dedicated some posts to me, simply because i didn't return his love...

[29] Have you ever left someone for another person?

Nope.

[30] Have you ever two-timed?

Nope. I demand the loyalty in love.

[31] Have you tried bungee jumping? What do you think of it?

Never but i think it's fun ever since i saw the photo that Champ took when he was in New Zealand.

[32] How long is/was your longest relationship? What do/did you think of him/her? Do you think he/she loves/loved you?

Two years long of countless break up and get back together, ended up with the final break up few years back. He is someone that accept my imperfectness and willing to make me laugh whenever i talk or seeing him. I think he loved me...hmm..it's a past tense huh..

[33] In your LAST FIVE posts of your BLOG, who were the people mentioned?

1- Prof Zaharom

2- Dr Juliana

3- Prof Adnan

4- Piak

5- my niece Babe

6- Kelly YYY

7- Ivan

8- Haruki Murakami

9- Anne Frank

10- Peywen

11- AO

12- Sis

13- Denise

14- Mami

15- Mei Lin

[34] Introvert or Extrovert?

Both.

[35] Is there something you're not wearing?

watch

[36] Is your BLOG a one-column, two-column or three-column? Or more?

2.

[37] Name 1 [ONE] Holiday Spot.

Europe

[38] Name 2 [TWO] Possessions.

1: Laptop

2. W810i

[39] Name 3 [THREE] Guys and his relationship with you

1: Sau Lim Kim ( dad)

2: Sau Kooi Yam ( elder brother )

3: Sau Kee Chun (2nd brother )

[40] Name 4 [FOUR] Apparels you feel comfortable in.

1: watch

2: necklace

3: Big T

4: short pant

[41] Name 5 [FIVE] Girls and her relationship with you

1: Sis Sau Man Ling (she is my Santa claus )

2: Denise ( I am dependent on her very much, indeed )

3: Janet ( chimui, but we might be killing each other in future )

4: Piak ( chimui+cousin who never say NO to me)

5: Purple Light ( Bestie^^ )

[42] Name 6 [SIX] from your Wish-List

1: Braces

2: Nikon D200

3: Diary of Anne Frank

4: countless starbucks vouchers

5: Ricky Martin Vuelve album

6: A hubby of course

[43] Name 7 [SEVEN] thing in front of you

1: My Vaio lappie

2: Maxis broadband

3: Hacks

4: my mobile W810i

5: my notebook

6: Reader's Digest Feb 2009

7. tupperware water container

[44] Name 8 [EIGHT] characters that best describe your personality

1: Choosy

2: Conservative

3: Sensitive

4: Tender

5: pessimistic

6: strong work ethic

7: cruel taskmaster

8: responsible

[45] Name 9 [NINE] words you say the most.

1: kanasai

2: 屁啦

3: my god

4: Ciak sai

5: okay

6: 去死啦

7: hamiksu?

8: then?

9: yup

[46] Name 10 [TEN] parts of your inheritance in characteristics, appearances and enthusiasms. Is it Dad's or Mum's?

1. value of life (mami)

2. tenderness (Dad & Mami)

3. Conservative (Mami)

4. egotism (mami)

5: Grumbler (mami)

6: double eye lid (Mami and dad)

7: curly hair (dad)

8: love reading (Mami and Dad)

9: dependent (Dad)

10: sincere (Dad and Mami)

[47] Should you be a multimillionaire, what's the FIRST thing you'd buy?

A very big beach bungalow

[48] Sony Ericsson or Nokia?

SE

[49] Tell us something about you we don't already know.

I am a damn typical capricorn and conservative person. Don't simply judge me by my appearance.

[50] The ONE thing you would change from your past.

Nothing actually. Just wish i may re-do my journal critique assignment for Prof Adnan few days back.

[51] Was the word PINK added to the LAST TEN answers?

Nope.

[52] What are the titles of your LAST TEN posts?

1: lil UpdaTe March

2: http://sonaksecretgarden.blogspot.com/2009/03/yours-mineconverse.html

3: Murakami@Me

4: 沉迷 by Gigi Leung

5: Heartache

6: 会呼吸的痛 by Fish Leong

7: 难受·复原

8: Anne Frank

9: Late Greeting

10: Book Searching

[53] What are you NOT?

lesbian

[54] What are you thankful for?

leading my very own path

[55] What are you wearing?

Gap T+short pant from sis

[56] What do you fear most?

losing of beloved one

[57] What do you hate about yourself?

indecisive, loneranger, lack of knowledge, put on weight

[58] What do you hear apart from the computer noise?

Car alarm downstair

[59] What do you love about yourself?

Being myself

[60] What do you think of this questionnaire?

Damn long...my neck is pain

[61] What do you usually do from Mondays to Sundays?

Monday: -home-class-night class-home

Tuesday: -home-Qbay

Wednesday: -home-class-home-

Thursday: -home-late night outing-

Friday: -home-

Saturday: -home-

Sunday: -home-

p/s: an assumption that i don't have any part time job on hand.

[62] What irritates you?

Stupiak

[63] What is on the walls of the room you're in?

to-do list, library charging slips, World Vision browser.

[64] What is stressing you now?

None. I just pass up my essay assignment. Left 3 presentations to go...

[65] What is your bad habit?

tearing my damaged hair.

[66] What is your BLOG'S URL and Name? Why did you choose that particular name?

URL: http://sonaksecretgarden.blogspot.com/

Name: SecReT GarDeN

Why?: it's my secret garden, that's all.

[67] What is your current mood?

swinging, not having my dinner yet.

[68] What is your favourite colour?

Blue. Sky blue.

[69] What is your favourite game?

hmm...hiking can ar?

[70] What is your favourite past-time?

The internet

[71] What is your favourite song?

recently vuelve by ricky martin and stop by sam brown

[72] What is your favourite store?

Topshop, forever21.

[73] What is your hair colour?

Black+unknown colour

[74] What makes you smile?

friends, babe, sarcastic lecturer.

[75] What scares you?

insects

[76] What shuts you off?

when my dad get mad

[77] What was the last thing you did?
chat with adrian

[78] What was the last thing you said last night before going to bed?

i couldn't recall..

[79] What was the last thing you watched on TV?

decades ago..forgot

[80] What was your dream last night?

none

[81] What widgets/gadgets do you have on your sidebar(s)?

Right side bar:

1: My profile

2: blog achive

3: my favourite blog list

4: followers

5: subscribe to-

6: visitors

7: Live trafic feed

[82] What would you name your daughter?

ask my hubby

[83] What would you name your son?

same as above

[84] What would be the version of your love quote?
faith, to love and be loved.

[85] When was the last time you cried and why?

few weeks back when i watched Curious Case of Benjamin Button at Qbay.

[86] When was the last time you laughed and why?

Just now in class when my sarcastic lecturer tesing about us and others and so forth...

[87] When you were out having fun the last time, what did you do?

I am having fun all the time as long as my beloved along...:) but I got the tendency to forget what i have done.

[88] Where did you grow up?

Alor Star.

[89] Where do you want to be in 6 years time?

Penang perhaps, or else i would dwelling myself in small town far away in Germany.

[90] Where is your cell phone?

on my right

[91] Where is your significant other?

somewhere. Fate doesn't draw us together yet.

[92] Where were you last night?

rushing Prof Rom assignment at home.

[93] Who are the people you mentioned in the LAST TWENTY answers? Who is he/she to you?

1: Prof Zaharom my sarcastic lecturer.

2: my dad

3: my niece babe

4: my future hubby- if only he did exist.

[94] Who do you usually go out with?

Denise, Janet, roomy, alone.

[95] Who was the last person you saw? What did he or she say?

Felicia my classmate. Okay, see you...

[96] Who was the last person you spoke to online? What were you and him/her chatting
Den, she told me two significant stories about her sistas and mum, then her resume stuff, then my pay and bla bla bla

[97] Why are TEN victims, your TEN victims?

I am not goin to tag anyone. Cos i dunno who's browsing here actually.

[98] Why are you doing this questionnaire?

I tend to do it since i saw it in terfernee's blog as i told Den. But just got time after killed 2 assignments.

[99] Why do you think the person reading this right now, read all the way to number NINETY NINE?

They simply got nothing to do.

[100] AND THE AWARD GOES TO:

-none-