I stare at the screen for a very long time before I started to do my typing. Such a hectic life best to describe my current life. Although I need not rushing for dissertation, need not go to work like everyone else, I feel like living in a vacuum somehow... and that's saddened me indeed. I never tend to be someone like this, living in my own world, keep pushing people away, keep doing the things I like and ignoring those affections that gradually fade away... sigh
Going to depart to Bangkok tomorrow morning. I am in the great hope that this getaway might be the better solution to refresh my tangled mind. Hoping that I may get a life afresh without looking back to the past that keep haunting me days and nights. Hoping that I may somehow gain something great, improving the inner self and more perceive of the future path of mine. It's terrifying indeed when dealing with the incertain future. I admit that I am dreamer most of the time, but I mixed it up with the reality and make it impossible for me to attain something great in life. Maybe I meant to screw it up sometimes... maybe we meant to fall back sometimes, to look at what we'd missing in the very first place.
I tried not to show the flood of emotions you had caused within me as we met that day. I tried not to surrender in your embrace once again. But again and again, I should never trust my heart any longer. Perhaps I couldn't get rid of your seductive smile. It drew me back to the good old days that we used to have, that we used to share every single little thing in life. I've been caught in the middle and I don't know how to walk away from you. I guess the biggest problem between us is gonna remain the same to death. I was unable to answer you... although you never phrase it as a question. It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside. Like how we get to know each other, how we get along, how we picture each other in our own perception. I wonder how you characterise me in your eyes, I wonder many things when it comes about you and me...
Going to depart to Bangkok tomorrow morning. I am in the great hope that this getaway might be the better solution to refresh my tangled mind. Hoping that I may get a life afresh without looking back to the past that keep haunting me days and nights. Hoping that I may somehow gain something great, improving the inner self and more perceive of the future path of mine. It's terrifying indeed when dealing with the incertain future. I admit that I am dreamer most of the time, but I mixed it up with the reality and make it impossible for me to attain something great in life. Maybe I meant to screw it up sometimes... maybe we meant to fall back sometimes, to look at what we'd missing in the very first place.
I tried not to show the flood of emotions you had caused within me as we met that day. I tried not to surrender in your embrace once again. But again and again, I should never trust my heart any longer. Perhaps I couldn't get rid of your seductive smile. It drew me back to the good old days that we used to have, that we used to share every single little thing in life. I've been caught in the middle and I don't know how to walk away from you. I guess the biggest problem between us is gonna remain the same to death. I was unable to answer you... although you never phrase it as a question. It's funny when you find yourself looking from the outside. Like how we get to know each other, how we get along, how we picture each other in our own perception. I wonder how you characterise me in your eyes, I wonder many things when it comes about you and me...
