lil UpdaTe | March

I quit part time job in March due to my assignments and presentations. And here is my little update about my upcoming daily plans.

4th/Wed: Prof. Zaharom's Class

6th/Fri: Hiking with Kelly YYY

10th/Tue: submission date for Dr. Juliana assignment

11th/Wed: submission date for Prof. Zaharom assignment

13th/Fri: Piak back hometown (I might be going back as well)

14th/Sat: my niece lil babe's birthday (Huhu..i am going to celebrate with her then)

18th/Wed: Presentation (Prof. Zaharom)

25th/Wed: Presentation (Dr. Juliana)

30th/Mon: submission date for proposal

31st/Tue: Proposal presentation (Prof. Adnan)

Yours, Mine@Converse

Murakami@Me

I found Anne Frank's Diary at Gurney MPH but i didn't buy it though. It is only cost RM23.90 but i am not really like the printed issue at MPH. Maybe i will search it at Kinokuniya in April or May. Thanks Peywen that ever think about wanted to buy me for my 2010's birthday present from Taiwan..lol. I might fall to other books as well in the coming days..so you may get it for me if i really can't find it here..:O

I was not in the mood last Sunday. So i went to Borders and found this book that tempted my heart. So i bought it and found that the author share the same birthday as me. And after a night chat with Peywen i only realised that this Japanese author is the one that i never get to understand his written books in Mandarine even that i tend to...Well, his name is Haruki Murakami, 村上春树. I never thought that i would immersed myself into his writting. Anyway, thanks for the one that hurt me that night... Cause you drove me crazy, made me wanted to feel better and bought this book to cool down my temper. I know it is ridiculous...but i am kinda easy to get satisfy most of the time.

Thanks sis, i know you always there for me when i am in need. I am such a loser for defeating myself once and once again...

沉迷 by Gigi Leung

我循着我爱的方向走
转弯吗 我迷惑
没有谁的错 不等谁开口
月光指引我应该回头
我的脚步 太重
她的歌声让我动容 使我犯错
眼神闪烁
你美的让我失去了自我
我离不开你设的牢笼
承认 我没用
情愿 住在漆黑的角落
转个弯我不回来
眼睛睁不开
明天 一样精采 勇敢爱
你美的让我失去了自我
我离不开你设的牢笼
天空 也笑我
为爱 沉迷没有用
夜美的凄凉受尽了折磨
日出不再来世界变沙漠
承认 我没用
情愿 住在漆黑的角落
守在你冰凉的背后

Heartache

So Den, i was thinking of you since you been gone last night. I woke up this morning and noticed the message that u text me in the early morning. I thought it was too late for me to get you a reply so i just ignored it, but still i keep it in heart.

I recalled the day when i fallen into pieces, i was craving for a companion and you always there for me. Perhaps we both used to feel safe and contended in each other's company. And i think you pampered me most of the time and you don't even realised that you ever did. You never give me a cold shoulder when i was in need. How am i going to live the days without you if we finally choose to fall apart after a long consideration about our own future?

I got a great offer from my lecturer this afternoon. Something that i always thought that i wanted to have in life. Some foreseeable future that i would feel safe to have rather than exploring myself. Yet it makes me think twice again, and again perhaps. Should i continue what i am doing right now for a better future or just switch to a different life to find my very own path?

I am hating to do the same old things once and once again. I don't feel like repeating it and i don't want to be a loneranger after all. I called mum this evening and thanks God she always could comprehend those feeling that hidden in my words. I wonder sometimes, could she ever feel the fears and hesitation that i am encountering all the time?

I spent my evening with Mei Lin at Coffeebean just now. After all these years dwelling myself into Starbucks without a second thought on Coffeebean, I just caught myself falling into the songs that keep airing there...those are the songs, that i used to keep it playing in Hi-fi during my what so-called uniformed school days. What kind of person that i suddenly turn into nowadays...*sighing*

I wanted to settle down myself, wanted to get a shoulder to rely on when i feel indefensible... But i just couldn't get the right one all the time. I feel silly to put my trust at the wrong person. I feel sad to take those trifles to heart. Perhaps it doesn't bring any significant meaning at all... It should be just ended in this way. And it is indeed sad when you know that the only thing you probably could do after all is nothing but just to say goodbye...

会呼吸的痛 by Fish Leong

在东京铁塔　第一次眺望
看灯火模仿　坠落的星光
我终於到达　但却更悲伤
一个人完成　我们的梦想

你总说　时间还很多　你可以等我
以前我不懂得　未必明天　就有以后

想念是会呼吸的痛　它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛　看你的信会痛　连沈默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛　它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛　恨不懂你会痛　想见不能见最痛

没看你脸上　张扬过哀伤
那是种多么　寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙　让我去流浪
在原地等我　把自己捆绑

你没说　你也会软弱　需要依赖我
我就装不晓得　自由移动　自我地过

我发誓不再说谎了　多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了　灵魂像飘浮著　你在就好了

我发誓不让你等候　陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳　怕心被人触碰　你回来那就好了
能重来那就好了

难受·复原

有时候，伤心是因为期待太多，而往往回报总是比预期中的还要不理想。

有时候，伤心是因为找不到出口，搞不清事情的演变由来，也不懂如何才会让自己好过些。

我说，我很伤心，我想哭，我不懂为何会这样……

谢谢你的陪伴，至少让我把眼泪克制，不让它掉；至少有你愿意听我说那些愤世嫉俗的话；至少让我知道自己多傻；也让我知道我们真的太漂浮了，找不到能停泊的港湾。

谢谢你让我知道那些回忆仅仅是回忆，不会再有任何发展的可能。我会把你忘了，把你和我之间的都忘了。若干年后，我们也不过是最熟悉的陌生人。

谢谢某某，在我难受时，愿意陪伴我聊到夜深；愿意听我发牢骚。

我没事，只是刚刚很难受。目前正在复原中。