My GrieF

Finally five weeks passed..3 weeks left in NST. Joan talk to me yesterday morning and said 'the most important thing to be a journalist is getting involved'..then said start from next week i'll follow a reporter for interview, then i'll write my story, he/she will write his/her story too. Though i'm afraid of it..but i know i need to step out eventually. Just wondering how i'm suppose to write a story to cover 1-2 page in Streets..haiz..feature writing summore..

My tears flow when i saw sis's comment in my blog.. i never tot dat she'll write sumthing for me. It reali surprise me and warmed my heart. I never wish to get quarrel wiv u since u bek by my side. I dun think i can take on such emotional and physical extremes for it all to go wrong again.. i just wanna stay the same as right now. We planned to go Bali end of this year..hope it will be real^^

I had been urged never to sacrifice happiness in the pursuit of succeed. Yet i always brought myself to grief. Perhaps i care so much, perhaps i afraid to feel the devastating feeling of loss over and over again. I'm sorry if i ever hurt those who care bout me..i'm sorry cos i never learn to love myself. I was drunk til i forgot wat i'd done last saturday night..i tend to get hang over to vent my anger, to release my stressness.. and i know i'ld be safe wiv joey, andrew and yong pin.. so i drink lots til shocked yong pin..lol. Sorry.. Once is enuff.. i hate clubbing, i only fond to drink.. Sorry guys..

Recently implicated myself into guiltiness condition. I tend to help but seems things getting worst.. Joey, sorry for hurting u..i reali wish to make things better. Cos i dunwan to see you two hurting each other since both of ya caring bout one another.. i'm hesitating for being this position. I wish ya understand it..wish it won't affect our frenship.. i can't afford to lose ya in my life.. there're many person dat i appreciate in life, and u're one in the list.. What a fool i had became to break ur heart. I gulp wiv sadness when i heard u cried through calling me from the other side.. everything happened in the blink of an eye. If i ever knew it would turned to be like dat, then i'ld never try to get involved.. i dunwan our frenship have been wrecked cos of this..i'll live wiv guiltiness the rest of my life.. indeed sorry.. Pls dun hurt urself since so many ppl care bout ya.. U're lovable.. and i love ya n never wish to lose u as part of my life..

Went out wiv my chimui Joey, Lin, Joan and our best pal Yong Pin on thursday night to One-U Sushi King n The Curve TGI Friday as the next stop. Bring bek all the memories in secondary sch..unfortunately Janet can't be wiv us here.. We had become a person in a hurry even when we had no need to hurry. Busyness is not an absolute..We dun hav much time to gather within one year..thank God we spending our days here together.. We'll go to National Zoo next week..^^ nth will tear us apart. I miss the laughters, i miss every lame jokes that we'd make, i miss every moment we spent together..

I'm blessed i know.. but i can't be more pessimistic. cos it's the only way i use to get through my life. I have learnt to handle my grief, even if it rears its ugly heal every now and then. My grief never goes away, but it has become a part of me that i have learnt to live with..