AmbiTious

It came across my mind this morning that i left 10 more days to be here. Sounds pretty good right? Yet feel be reluctant to part from my chimui and buddies here somehow. Still, I never fall to this city after two months here. It used to be my dream for study here after form 6 when i applied for my 1st choice UM on literature. Perhaps all is fated d...and perhaps it was a right path dat brought me to who i am today, made me even more perceive bout my future plans. It was the most purposely and mentally stimulating time of my life when i get into uni. I've learned, about how i can bury it. Bcos the past claws its way out...I'm looking forward for the days i bek pg. I wish, somehow, i'll dare to be ambitious.. to transform a better life, to be somebody. Denise, we're rich in soul n love, but poor in pockets and wallet..lol

Recently went to Kinokuniya bookstore and wasted RM160++ for 3 books..Yet, no regret at all. Wish i get much money then i could purchase more. I wondered why my tears will sliding down my cheeks sumtimes when i was reading..am i a sensible or emotional person? i doubted somehow...but there were no answers forthcoming.

If pg was the city dat reminded me of who i used to be, then Kl is the next city could has become someday. I'm not a mindreader. Dun make me confuse bout myself by ur words, ur behaviors, ur everything..U turned me to be who i am today. And i felt bad after all..after those stupid mistakes dat i'd made.. I just wan to live a simple life. Is it too much i'm asking for?

Suddenly miss my bro Boy latterly, seems like never meet him for ages. I never meet him after CNY if i was not mistaken.. but there is, between us, a kinship that not even time could break.. I still can feel it, even the best we can do is keeping in touch via sms. Boy, thanks for pampered me the way that u used to do.. Strive for ur dream.. i know u can make it.

'If you judge ppl, u have no time to love them', quoted from Mother Teresa. Seems like i fond of quotations recently..^^ We always judging and bashing others when we tot we're good enuff to do so or even not. I hate self-righteous person.. but sumtimes i turn to be like dat. Shud i call it as human instinct or inherent aptitude in mankind? Most of the time we don't communicate, we just take turns talking. Perhaps that brings lots of misunderstanding.. half-hearted turns us down.. The best way to cheer yourself up is to cheer somebody else up. Life is a wonderful thing to talk about, or to read about in history books. But it is terrible when one has to live it..

You said dat i am an independent person and can do everything on my own. I told u dat i'm not, and i reali meant it. I never tend to be like this but the reality forced me to live like this as i can't rely on anyone around me like other gurls. I'm extremely feel insecurity for trusting a guy whole-hearted cos i can't take for the heart-broken after all. Perhaps i can't find sum1 trustworthy after u or i never tend to search for it.. It's hurt when u said u felt like i'm out of it d.. Hav faith between us ok? Sumtimes i wondered why we need to fall apart since we're still caring bout each other...There is no remedy for love but to love more.. 'You don't marry sum1 u can live with, you marry the person who u cannot live without.'

Wei Jay, nice to get ur current affairs through msn. I miss ya dear..awaiting the days u bek from aus. Dun be hesitate to take the 1st move k..though we're indeed conservative persons..lol

I need to be brave i know.. Thanks sis.. for every words u'd said to me..