Kinda mad now. Just now finish my post d but when i saved it to draft, frenster server havin error and my post disappeared..arghhhh!!!!! I wish i din start it just now..
Can't sleep at all...it's 2 sumthing in the morning and tmr i stil need to work. I think i'm not belong here..i'm stil counting the days for goin bek..25 days to go in NST, one more month to stay at KL..i miss pg lots.. Miss the days i spent wiv my buddies, miss da days i stay over9 rushed for assignments, the days when i searched my reference in library, the days i went for movies, shopping, bookstore.. haiz..sad
It's not dat i dun like for staying here. just i can't feel any sense of belonging here.. Feel no connection here, no real frens, no real relationship, real affections.. all faked.. everybody rush to work n bek home everyday.. What left for me here? Being dumped by this faked world..
Went to KLCC just now. I just tend to spend my day at Kinokuniya bookstore..totally immerse myself into it.. I wish i got much money then i can buy those books that i fond of.. Yet almost broke d..gosh..
Father's Day comin soon..sigh.. Denise, thanks for the dedication k.. Yet i dun think i ready for it yet. I know wat u mean.. and i know perhaps i wil regret in the days forward if i dunwan take the move right now.. But i need some times..perhaps more times to forgiv myself for hurting him. I hurt him much i know..same as the returned. I haven ready to talk to him..i'm not ready to face him..to look into his eyes.. I'm indeed not ready yet..now for sure..
Sis, i understand ur feeling k.. It's not dat i wanna side him when u told me the incident dat day. Sorry if my words disappointed ya k.. I just hope u think of his shoes and his real intention.. He's just concern bout our family, bout mum.. Although he dun reali understand us.. but at least he tried. I know u very stress there..i'm same as u here.. and i dun think dat he either.. Try to understand each other k.. Just keep ur hard work then u will notice the fruitful works after all. I wish i wil by ur side when u in need, be ur companion when ya need a listener..i wish to be an understanding sista for ya cos u always giv me support when i depressed. You're my long lost sista..and i can't afford to lose ya anymore..
Dear sumone dat know me true. Sumtimes i wish that we're just playing around then we wont get hurt in the end.. i reali meant it each time when i say goodbye..and same as u. Perhaps faith always turned us down.. When it gonna be the real end of our story? I wondered.. Sumtimes i doubted that i wish to study oversea is bcos i tend to start a new life without u..It's reali heart-warming to know that u still remember every single little things.. U'll not forgotten..dats for sure. Thanks for taking the 1st move as u know i wont start the conversation 1st..i'm stubborn..as u mentioned. Thanks for accept who i am and my stubbornness.. Once again..happy belated bday k..just realised we never celebrate bday for each other.. I can't predict our future.. Just wish dat our frenship wil be last forever..
Getting older..felt helpless sumtimes. Can't take for another heart broken so i promised myself wont fall to sumone til the day i'm ready for it.. But who knows when it gonna be.. I might be hurt others sumtimes..but i never really meant it.. It's take times to heal the wound..the scars.. especially for me.. I feel insecurity in a relationship.. Someday i'll know.. if i ever get through it..
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