I shud be sleeping right now as i promised Jack just now. I went to bed bout 11 sumthing and suffered for insomnia til now at 2.26 am. Can't sleep at all..dunno wat to do. Lazy to start my Japanese language revision, lazy to watch drama series, lazy to walk out the room n go to toilet..just damn lazy at the moment.
Jack said dat diet ain't gonna help me unless i change my life-style. Though i don't reali think dat it affecting me became fatter. I do agree dat my daily life need to hav a small changes. Yet seems like it gonna be a hard time for me to get it started n maintaining it. It kenot be denied dat i used to stay awake til the dawn break out n indulging myself in slumberland in the morning til afternoon throughout this semester. That's why it considered as a mission impossible to get my normal life bek. Sigh*
Watched Raising Helen just now n reduced me into tears..i think bout sis when i was watching it. Recall the sudden flow of my tears when she scolded me through the oversea phone call. Are we gonna keep on this kinda endless quarreling til we getting old? Although i knew she real angry bout me but it reali hurt when she was yelling at me.. I dunno whether she wil browsing here anot..But indeed sorry sis..i owed u this apologise dat night..
Shin mentioned dat i'm special fren for her. Just bcos i never bother bout money spending n don't craving for saving n future plan after graduate. She said dat i seemed enjoying my life so much and if everybody has the thinking as me then shud be no more sadness n wonders. I was doubtful dat i avoided to think bout my wonders unless it's time to make the choices. Perhaps i'm the youngest at home..being spoiled by my family members. They all became my back up when i was in need or troubles. There was a time when i needed to work part time in form six, for not being burden to my parents while my brother pursuing his talent in graphic design.
And now i'm the only one dat stil undergraduate..mum n dad never give me any pressure in study since i was in secondary sch. I do knowing that they put their hope towards me deep inside their heart. Appreciating their loves, i reminding myself never let them down n i'll grab every opportunity even the slightest chance being offered. Sumtimes tired of keep on searching n trying to get the right path..the fear of failed and losing the opportunity or direction. I have to cope wit it all alone cos nobody would make the decision for me. Not even my parents. I owned my own path.. blame no other when i'd make the stupid mistakes. I'm enjoying it cos it's my choice to be where i am right now. No regret..just like wat i used to say.. No turning bek.
Now i wondered wat i'm goin to be after graduated. Shin asked me then i said i'll try to get scolarship to study oversea. I'm not only told her but all those who close to me..dat's my only wish. I dunno wat i'm goin to do if i failed. Am i goin to be a journalist? Where am i suppose to get my 1st job..Pg? KL? Spore? or any place dat i might be contented in? ...dats why i hate to think bout it..cos i cant forsee any of it..
Talk to Yee Guan this morning while we're on our way for photo shooting in GeorgeTown..recall lotsa bout internship. She was in Nanyang Siang Pao n get so many opportunities to cover story oneself. Then i told her those ppl i met during my internship in NST and those unforgottable memories. I miss NST sumhow..i read the column of my editor this morning and felt weird. I'm reading the column of the person i spent 2 months wit and quite closer compared to other editors in NST. And she's damn cool indeed..:) I knew i'm blissful cos got the opportunity for havin intern in NST. It's a place for improving myself n i really learnt so much there..It's a great journey for me to grow up. Yee Guan asked would i be bek NST after graduate..i told her i will if i reali capable to be there. I know i'm not for the moment..
I chat wit Huang dat took his trip on official business in Netherlands for a while n Cammie til now at 5.52am while i'm writing this post..finished my instant noodles as i broke the promise to my mum dat i wont hav any instant noodles here after i bek pg. Feel like sleeping d...^^ Jack, thanks for ur concern, but i cant switch it bek yet..Thanks Cammie for the long chat.. we're non-stop gossiping..;p
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